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Find Solo Time on Group Trips

Need your space when traveling en masse? Extroverts and introverts alike all need a little solo time to recharge. Here are easy ways to politely find your own space while still enjoying the group parties, meals, events, activities, and hoopla.

A family reunion, bachelor party, or weekend getaway group agenda doesn't always have to be your agenda. There can be a lot of hanging out time or slower pace in doing things to accommodate for the slowest group member and herding the troops. After a couple of days, finding ways to get some personal space is just fine. Good friends or family should understand. Many will likely copy your actions (or have already scheduled solo time for themselves). It's quite natural.

So, take that leap. Get the most out of any group vacation by returning relaxed using these tips, ideas, and resources:

1. Listen to Music: Put on your headphones or earbuds, close your eyes and tune out others and into yourself. In today's always connected world, streaming music is the norm, but seasoned travelers know the frustration of spotty or non-existent WiFi and mobile connectivity. To ensure your melodies keep flowing, download your playlists ahead of time. This simple step not only guarantees access to your favorite tunes but can also save battery life.

2. Enjoy Podcasts: Podcasts tours can be an invaluable companion, transforming mundane journeys into enriching experiences. Imagine strolling through the vibrant streets of Barcelona, earbuds in, as a local historian narrates the tales behind Gaudi's architectural marvels, or hiking through the lush trails of the Pacific Northwest while an ecologist explains the unique flora and fauna around you. These podcasts blend storytelling with practical travel tips. These auditory journeys can provide a rich understanding of places (cultural, culinary, historical...) and often feature interviews with locals, expats, and fellow travelers. Learn how to get personalized podcast recommendations for your next trip.

3. Journal: Who wouldn't respect your request for a little alone time to jot down memories, thoughts, rants, raves of the trip? In a world dominated by snapshots and social media updates, the timeless tradition of travel journaling offers a more intimate and reflective way to preserve your thoughts. Travel journals often become cherished keepsakes, brimming with vivid descriptions, doodles, ticket stubs, etc. This practice also encourages mindfulness and observation and long after the journey ends, flipping through these pages can reignite the senses and emotions of your trip.

4. Read: Many people bring books for plane rides, down time between transfers, and down time in general. A basic for down time which can double as nap time if you read with sunglasses (no one will be the wiser if you position your book and head on a pillow just so). How about books with Sudoko, crossword puzzles, and other mind games? Or are you the trashy romance novel type? John Grisham or Michael Crichton fanatic? Likewise offers many great book lists for travelers including this list of "books to inspire you to explore the world."

5. Take Walks: Walk the city, beach, destination and let your thoughts and imagination be your guide. One of the most relaxing elements of travel can be finding quiet place to ponder your current situation (career, lifestyle, health, relationships) or simply letting go of it all and fully immersing yourself in the now to contemplate lapping waves, patterns in the sand, or perhaps the origins of Pina Coladas.

6. Exercise: In the whirlwind of travel, where every moment can be filled with activities, exercise creates space for a precious oasis of 'me time.' Imagine the tranquility of an early morning jog or a sunset yoga session. Solitary exercise time is an opportunity to disconnect from the demands of travel companions, reflect and recharge. Whether it's a hotel gym workout or a leisurely bike ride through a historic city, these moments of physical activity become sanctuaries of self-care. They remind us that taking time to focus on our well-being and individual needs is not just beneficial, but essential.

7. Just say NO. While the main objective of any group trip is to be together, taking time for yourself shouldn't catapult feelings of guilt into your conscience. Learn the delicate art of politely declining for certain activities.

Any other ways to step aside from group gatherings to recharge with solo time?

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Girls Getaways - Celebrating Friendship

That's right, men. Step aside. This doesn't mean women don't adore traveling with you - it just means quality girl friend time is like nothing else; so when women gather in giggly gaggles or small, serious groups, the travel industry takes notice.

There's something uniquely special about traveling with other women. Whether it's sharing laughter over a misread map or bonding over a breathtaking sunset, these moments create memories that last a lifetime. Traveling with other women means embracing the freedom to be yourself, away from daily responsibilities. It's about sharing experiences and supporting each other.

So pack your bags, gather your girlfriends, and set off on an adventure that will deepen your bonds and fill your heart with joy. A world of options to consider:

Of course, not all memorable trips require a flight. Staycations with your girlfriends can be just as enriching. Consider a weekend retreat at a local bed and breakfast, exploring hidden gems in your own city, or even a themed movie night with travel-inspired food and films.

Men: who knows? You just might find your girlfriend becoming more passionate about travel (and life) on her adventure away with the girls, which should spilleth over to your relationship. Concerned about couples traveling separately on vacation? Here are tips on how healthy it can be.

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Most Memorable Beaches

Who doesn't dig beaches? They vary by destination (rock beaches vs. powdery white sand) and season. Depending on who you're traveling with (group of friends, family or college pals) you get (and likely want) different things from each beach trip.

Beaches that stick out in my mind as personal favorites hold their titles from the experience of the visit - some for fond memories they conjure up, others for sheer beauty, and still others for a desire to return to the sights, foods, and local culture surrounding the shores.

A few of my memory-making beaches include:

To further whet your travel planning appetite, these 10 destinations represent some of the finest beach experiences the U.S. has to offer:

Craig M. reached out to us to share one of his favorites: "I love a beach on Maui called Slaughterhouse Beach. There used to be a slaughter house just above the beach - today, the beach is reached by a staircase off the highway passed Kahana - it's small, never busy, always clean and quiet and great body surfing waves too."

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Group Dynamics on Escorted Travel Tours

By guest blogger and professor Hazel Warlaumont, Ph.D.

Thinking of an escorted travel tour? Sharing pleasurable and positive travel experiences with others can bring lasting memories . . . and lasting friendships! Researchers investigating group dynamics agree that group synergy; that is, increased benefits from a group experience, can far surpass the experience of acting alone. Escorted tours not only have economical and practical advantages, but they can satisfy members' interpersonal needs such as inclusion and the need to develop close, caring relationships by sharing interests in common.

But horror stories abound from seasoned travelers and tour guides who relate unpleasant situations that can create tension and even ruin a trip. When you get 35 people from different backgrounds and often with different agendas in close quarters for the first time, there's bound to be some tension. Understanding how groups interact and process a new group situation can help alleviate many of the difficulties and make group travel work for everyone.

Stages of group dynamics on travel tours:

Getting oriented: Upon meeting for the first time, tour members enter the orientation phase of the group interaction process. Members naturally feel some primary tension marked by the expected uncertainty of meeting for the first time. This often happens on the first night when many tour directors gather their flock for a welcoming dinner or reception. Tour members tend to be polite and formal with one another and do their best to avoid controversy. They engage in surface-level chit-chat during this period of "social reconnaissance" while they get a sense of each other's interests and personalities.

Group dynamics form: The second or conflict phase is often marked by some secondary tension when members become aware of individual differences within the group. This may take place during the next few days as members ease into the routine of traveling together. Tension during this period can come from a number of situations, some identified by people's behavior and key personality traits. For instance, tour members might encounter

Showing patience with this initial posturing and knowing it will diminish as the tour progresses, is usually a winning strategy.

Personal space: Tension during the second stage of group integration can also arise from perceived violations of personal space. Territoriality is a basic human need and excessive invasions of our space can create heightened arousal and anxiety that may lead to verbal and physical aggression. A tour guide told me on a recent excursion that she had witnessed pushing and shoving over seat and room assignments, and instances of some members leaving a tour because of space issues. While rare, these situations are often the result of insensitivity to another's need for personal space and the inability of the offenders to make a commitment to the group experience. Expecting and accepting that you may need to share space on the bus or at your table, is a soothing strategy here.

Harmony and group unity: With a helpful tour director, secondary tension can be alleviated and even prevented through effective leadership and establishing a protocol for touring. In most cases, this happens right away, allowing the group to pass into stage three, the emergence phase of the trip where members begin to feel harmony. Potential problematic members have backed down, sensing the disapproval and counter productiveness of their behaviors or attitudes, leading the group into the final or reinforcement stage. At this point, members bolster the group experience through favorable comments and positive reinforcement. The spirit of unity pervades and group members are jovial and focused on the purpose of the trip and the travel experience.

Lasting friendships through traveling together: Although many escorted tours experience some tension, the best way to handle it is to keep a positive attitude and allow each member some room for personal adjustment. Anticipating periods of conflict and knowing that in most instances, these situations will resolve themselves quickly, is probably a healthy strategy. Most tour directors and tour members will recognize the value of a positive climate and set this as the primary goal. In most cases, travel excursions result in very special bonds and lasting friendships among members for having worked through minor periods of tension, and from sharing the fun of traveling together.

Hazel Warlaumont is a professor of communication at Cal State Fullerton and the University of Washington, and draws from her teaching and travel experience to share some observations about escorted group tours.

May 11, 2006

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Stress-Free Family Vacations for All Ages

What was your first vacation memory? Visiting grandparents in a distant city? Building sand castles on the beach with siblings and parents? How did the family vacation memories change as you aged and now as you're an adult - perhaps with kids and/or nieces and nephews of your own?

Infants, toddlers, teens all have different needs and interests. Below are some quick tips for making family getaways less stressful.

In general, less is more. Jam-packing too much into a travel schedule can ruin an otherwise lovely trip. Build in plenty of free time between activities, meals, and group gatherings to walk around, soak in the scenery, relax, nap, read, and so forth.

Traveling with kids up to 5 years old

Traveling with kids ages 6 to 12

Traveling with teens

What do you think? Is there an ideal age to travel with kids? Was there an ideal age of travel for you? My favorite childhood vacations were spent at a lake with white sandy shores and tons of relatives for our family reunions. Lots of cousins to play with and plenty of munchies and scrumptious food to boot.

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Virtual Adventure Travel

A college pal of mine is off on a 3-month African safari and emails a group of us every couple of weeks with stories from the field. While I'm living vicariously through his travels, he's out in the wild with his girlfriend on group tours, then traveling independently as a couple, then meeting up with friends. Basically, he rocks.

Here's what my friend recently did in Namibia, Africa while I scrolled on my phone:

  1. "Fish River Canyon - the oldest, and second largest, canyon in the world"
  2. "...hiking up a huge red dune at sunrise surrounded by miles of the same as far as the eye could see..."
  3. "...visiting a cheetah farm and petting tame cheetahs..."
  4. "...visiting a village of the Himba tribe - one of the few tribes left in Africa living completely in their traditional ways..."
  5. "...visiting Etosha National Park (some animals seen: 2 elephants; 6 lions; 4 or 5 warthogs; tons of giraffes; tons of zebra; tons of wildebeest; tons of antelope; all kinds of birds including a bunch of ostrich, vultures, a stork, a goshawk, some kory bustards - the largest flying bird in Africa, and lots more)."

He surfs, too. But I admire his ability to plan, save money, and pick up and travel adventurously. Don't we all have at least one friend we live vicariously through? The guy or gal who one-ups us on adventure. We plan a multi-day hike while they zip through tree canopies and scuba dive with sharks. The travel bug is everywhere.

If you don't have a friend like this, here are a few websites that may speak to your adventurous spirit:

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Caretaking and Housesitting Vacations

Will wonders ever cease? I discovered a caretakers organization that prides itself on being the leading property caretaking source. Caretaking in this context doesn't mean changing baby's diapers or live-in help for aging seniors; that's caregiving. Think travel, think vacation, think free. Can this be an actual industry?

If you've ever dreamed of playing host(ess) at a quaint inn, housesitting at a beachfront home, watching the condo and cat for someone who lives in a swanky loft with a cityscape vista, or being innkeeper for a small retreat center, take note.

The Caretaker Gazette has been operating since 1983. It is a unique newsletter that provides information and opportunities for property caretaking and house sitting jobs. The service caters to those interested in caretaking positions as well as property owners looking for caretakers or house sitters. According to their website, The Gazette provides subscribers with thousands of house sitting and property caretaking jobs each year.

Families, couples, and individuals are all caretakers who travel for various lengths of time to plant themselves in a new locale and temporarily try on a new lifestyle. Free accommodations to boot. But if you apply for one of the caretaking "jobs" and time it with a family reunion in the same destination, or in an area where friends can easily visit for a weekend getaway, you just might have found nomadic nirvana.

If I find a European castle in need an innkeeper for a month, I might reconsider my current situation and start packing. Alternative travel. Gotta love it.

Or does this sound like pure hell? Anyone ever done a trip like this? Would you recommend it to others? Are there other sites or resources to find this type of opportunity?

D. Rose sent us a note to share, "I've used the Caretaker Gazette to find housesitting and caretaking positions in places I wanted to visit... I don't like big hotels or resorts so I prefer to live where I can get to know the local people. The people that run the Gazette are very helpful and friendly so I am sure they would be happy to answer any questions you might have. Good luck!"

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Secrets for Sharing Rooms and Personal Space

Nothing is worse than going on a group trip and discovering an incompatibility with your roomie. Traveling can become a bit of a petrie dish for issues, psychology, life... You never really know someone until you've traveled with them (or shared a room on a trip).

How do you survive an escorted group tour or trip with close traveling companions without throttling each other? For starters, it goes both ways. You may be a perfect travel companion in your own mind, but not in someone else's. Your passion for shopping might bore or exhaust others. Their passion for fragrant perfume may give your gag reflexes a work-out. What to do?

A quick way to ruin an otherwise fabulous trip is to find resentment building as you throw pillows, socks, apples at a roomie who snores, or roll your eyes each time your travel "buddy" wants to settle in late... showering and/or loudly fumbling through luggage and bags to find some long lost earring at 2 a.m. while you are jet-lagged as hell trying to nap.

Here are some helpful hints for common problems faced when sharing rooms and space:

Snoring -- Solution: Ask if this is an issue. Caveat: if your friend lives alone he/she might not know or agree on what to do if either of you snores. Consider ear plugs, white noise, or seeing if you can take a new room. Proper etiquette is for the person who wants to change to pay for their new room.

Scents -- Solution: Strong cologne or perfumes can be intrusive to others; best left at home. Go through routine personal products to make sure you are both happy with the steam wafting from the shower or the acetone from the nails.

Smoking -- Sharing with a smoker means a smoking room, a smoking floor and smoking tables at meals. Smokers will also be handicapped even isolated on tours as buses do not allow smoking. Solution: Take separate rooms and talk about the consequences; there is no other way out.

Stamina -- Solution: Compare walking, step climbing, ability to carry luggage, deal with lack of sleep or dietary changes. Compare how long you like to linger over meals, need to get organized each day etc. Toleration works to a point, but if you are a marathon walker and she is taxi-er, this trip will not end in friendship. Spend a long day together to see where you differ and work out compromises. Example: if only one of you is taxi dependent, she should pay that expense. Same with porterage, excess baggage on tour, etc.

Spending -- Solution: Be honest about the budget. Do you use porters? Always tip? Expect to take taxis instead of public transportation? Order expensive drinks? Each choose 2 splurges that add up to the same money and time. And compromise on those. Put all your joint expense money in a zip lock bag and pay from the bag. When the bag is empty, refill it together. Do not keep a ledger and settle up later on complicated overseas trips, either both use frequent flyer tickets or neither use them; if a flight is changed, you will at least be in the same situation.

Seeing vs. shopping -- Solution: Every one hopes for different things from a trip. What you expect should be agreed on before you book. "Walk" through the trip, decide how you will use the free time. You each get to choose two options. If shopping annoys either of you, make a specific time to reconnect and part ways for a bit. Do not ask your room share to help you with your additional cumbersome packages. You bought it, you carry it.

Scared or feared -- Solution: Make a list of your fears and absolutely 'will not do's'. You really don't want to find out your friend will not use elevators when you arrive at a high rise hotel!

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