Need your space when traveling en masse? Extroverts and introverts alike all need a little solo time to recharge. Here are easy ways to politely find your own space while still enjoying the group parties, meals, events, activities, and hoopla.
A family reunion, bachelor party, or weekend getaway group agenda doesn't always have to be your agenda. There can be a lot of hanging out time or slower pace in doing things to accommodate for the slowest group member and herding the troops. After a couple of days, finding ways to get some personal space is just fine. Good friends or family should understand. Many will likely copy your actions (or have already scheduled solo time for themselves). It's quite natural.
So, take that leap. Get the most out of any group vacation by returning relaxed using these tips, ideas, and resources:
1. Listen to Music: Put on your headphones or earbuds, close your eyes and tune out others and into yourself. In today's always connected world, streaming music is the norm, but seasoned travelers know the frustration of spotty or non-existent WiFi and mobile connectivity. To ensure your melodies keep flowing, download your playlists ahead of time. This simple step not only guarantees access to your favorite tunes but can also save battery life.
2. Enjoy Podcasts: Podcasts tours can be an invaluable companion, transforming mundane journeys into enriching experiences. Imagine strolling through the vibrant streets of Barcelona, earbuds in, as a local historian narrates the tales behind Gaudi's architectural marvels, or hiking through the lush trails of the Pacific Northwest while an ecologist explains the unique flora and fauna around you. These podcasts blend storytelling with practical travel tips. These auditory journeys can provide a rich understanding of places (cultural, culinary, historical...) and often feature interviews with locals, expats, and fellow travelers. Learn how to get personalized podcast recommendations for your next trip.
3. Journal: Who wouldn't respect your request for a little alone time to jot down memories, thoughts, rants, raves of the trip? In a world dominated by snapshots and social media updates, the timeless tradition of travel journaling offers a more intimate and reflective way to preserve your thoughts. Travel journals often become cherished keepsakes, brimming with vivid descriptions, doodles, ticket stubs, etc. This practice also encourages mindfulness and observation and long after the journey ends, flipping through these pages can reignite the senses and emotions of your trip.
4. Read: Many people bring books for plane rides, down time between transfers, and down time in general. A basic for down time which can double as nap time if you read with sunglasses (no one will be the wiser if you position your book and head on a pillow just so). How about books with Sudoko, crossword puzzles, and other mind games? Or are you the trashy romance novel type? John Grisham or Michael Crichton fanatic? Likewise offers many great book lists for travelers including this list of "books to inspire you to explore the world."
5. Take Walks: Walk the city, beach, destination and let your thoughts and imagination be your guide. One of the most relaxing elements of travel can be finding quiet place to ponder your current situation (career, lifestyle, health, relationships) or simply letting go of it all and fully immersing yourself in the now to contemplate lapping waves, patterns in the sand, or perhaps the origins of Pina Coladas.
6. Exercise: In the whirlwind of travel, where every moment can be filled with activities, exercise creates space for a precious oasis of 'me time.' Imagine the tranquility of an early morning jog or a sunset yoga session. Solitary exercise time is an opportunity to disconnect from the demands of travel companions, reflect and recharge. Whether it's a hotel gym workout or a leisurely bike ride through a historic city, these moments of physical activity become sanctuaries of self-care. They remind us that taking time to focus on our well-being and individual needs is not just beneficial, but essential.
7. Just say NO. While the main objective of any group trip is to be together, taking time for yourself shouldn't catapult feelings of guilt into your conscience. Learn the delicate art of politely declining for certain activities.
Any other ways to step aside from group gatherings to recharge with solo time?
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That's right, men. Step aside. This doesn't mean women don't adore traveling with you - it just means quality girl friend time is like nothing else; so when women gather in giggly gaggles or small, serious groups, the travel industry takes notice.
There's something uniquely special about traveling with other women. Whether it's sharing laughter over a misread map or bonding over a breathtaking sunset, these moments create memories that last a lifetime. Traveling with other women means embracing the freedom to be yourself, away from daily responsibilities. It's about sharing experiences and supporting each other.
So pack your bags, gather your girlfriends, and set off on an adventure that will deepen your bonds and fill your heart with joy. A world of options to consider:
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Adventure Seekers: For the thrill-loving ladies, consider a hiking trip or a surfing adventure. The adrenaline rush coupled with the beauty of nature creates an unforgettable experience.
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Cultural Enthusiasts: Explore the rich history and vibrant art scenes of cities like San Francisco or New York. Visiting museums, attending local theater shows, and tasting exquisite cuisine can deepen your appreciation for diverse cultures.
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Relaxation Retreats: Sometimes, the best adventure is in unwinding. Luxury spa resorts or a quiet beach getaway offer the perfect setting to relax and rejuvenate.
Of course, not all memorable trips require a flight. Staycations with your girlfriends can be just as enriching. Consider a weekend retreat at a local bed and breakfast, exploring hidden gems in your own city, or even a themed movie night with travel-inspired food and films.
Men: who knows? You just might find your girlfriend becoming more passionate about travel (and life) on her adventure away with the girls, which should spilleth over to your relationship. Concerned about couples traveling separately on vacation? Here are tips on how healthy it can be.
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Who doesn't dig beaches? They vary by destination (rock beaches vs. powdery white sand) and season. Depending on who you're traveling with (group of friends, family or college pals) you get (and likely want) different things from each beach trip.
Beaches that stick out in my mind as personal favorites hold their titles from the experience of the visit - some for fond memories they conjure up, others for sheer beauty, and still others for a desire to return to the sights, foods, and local culture surrounding the shores.
A few of my memory-making beaches include:
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First Beach, Olympic National Park: Why? I've had great conversations with family members and enjoyed spotting eagles from shore. Once spotted about 10 adult and adolescent eagles!
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Red Beach on the Greek island of Santorini: Why? It was my second trip abroad and my friends and I had this beach all to ourselves in the spring; gorgeous, crescent-shaped beach that took a mini-hike to get down to the water's edge. We spent an afternoon reading by the water. (Hint: Only way to get this popular beach to yourself is to go off season and non-peak hours.)
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Monterosso, Italy: Why? Cinque Terre is one of my favorite areas of Italy (made famous to most Americans by Rick Steves) made doubly delightful with family and friends. More people with whom to sip wine or limoncello (local lemon liquor). Mmmm.
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West side of San Juan Island, Washington State: Why? It's where you can (environmentally responsibly) sight Orca whales. While visiting the island with friends, we drove around and stopped when we spotted approximately 50 at once. Gorgeous and a rare treat to see so many (now endangered) Orcas together.
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Poipu Beach, Kauai, Hawaii: Why? Snorkeling there is a wonderful treat - so much just under the surface very close to shore so it's great for all ages, family, etc.
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Isla Baru, off the coast of Cartagena, Colombia: Why? Tiny droplet of an island (as part of the Rosario Islands Park) with shallow shorelines for swimming in bathwater temperatures. On my tour, we were served grilled fish and veggies from the locals. I highly recommend tours that take you to multiple outer islands off of Cartagena. It's an authentic Caribbean experience.
To further whet your travel planning appetite, these 10 destinations represent some of the finest beach experiences the U.S. has to offer:
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Lanikai Beach, Hawaii: Known for its powdery white sand and clear, calm waters, perfect for kayaking and swimming. Best visited from March to September for ideal weather conditions.
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Clearwater Beach, Florida: Renowned for its miles of white sand and clear, shallow waters, great for swimming and water sports. The optimal visiting period is from March to May.
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South Beach, Miami, Florida: Famous for its vibrant atmosphere, Art Deco district, and clear blue waters. The sand is fine and white. The best time to visit is from March to May when the weather is warm but not too hot.
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Kauna'oa Bay, Hawaii: Known for its crescent-shaped beach with fine, white sand and clear, calm waters, ideal for snorkeling and swimming. The best time to visit is between May and October.
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Coronado Beach, San Diego, California: Renowned for its expansive, golden sands and gentle waves, ideal for families and surfers. The optimal time to visit is from March to May and September to November.
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Poipu Beach, Hawaii: Famous for its golden sand, clear water, and the chance to see Hawaiian monk seals. It's great for snorkeling and swimming. The best time to visit is from April to October.
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Myrtle Beach, South Carolina Known for its long stretch of soft sand and family-friendly attractions. The beach is bustling and lively. The best time to visit is from June to August.
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Cannon Beach, Oregon: Famous for its rugged coastline and the iconic Haystack Rock. The sand is soft and golden. The best time to visit is during the summer months, from June to August.
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Cape May, New Jersey: Known for its historic Victorian architecture and clean, beautiful beaches. The sand is fine and the waters are inviting. The ideal time to visit is from June to August.
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Hanauma Bay, Hawaii: Renowned for its stunning natural preserve and excellent snorkeling in clear, blue waters. The beach has fine, white sand. The best time to visit is from April to September.
Craig M. reached out to us to share one of his favorites: "I love a beach on Maui called Slaughterhouse Beach. There used to be a slaughter house just above the beach - today, the beach is reached by a staircase off the highway passed Kahana - it's small, never busy, always clean and quiet and great body surfing waves too."
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By guest blogger and professor Hazel Warlaumont, Ph.D.
Thinking of an escorted travel tour? Sharing pleasurable and positive travel experiences with others can bring lasting memories . . . and lasting friendships! Researchers investigating group dynamics agree that group synergy; that is, increased benefits from a group experience, can far surpass the experience of acting alone. Escorted tours not only have economical and practical advantages, but they can satisfy members' interpersonal needs such as inclusion and the need to develop close, caring relationships by sharing interests in common.
But horror stories abound from seasoned travelers and tour guides who relate unpleasant situations that can create tension and even ruin a trip. When you get 35 people from different backgrounds and often with different agendas in close quarters for the first time, there's bound to be some tension. Understanding how groups interact and process a new group situation can help alleviate many of the difficulties and make group travel work for everyone.
Stages of group dynamics on travel tours:
Getting oriented: Upon meeting for the first time, tour members enter the orientation phase of the group interaction process. Members naturally feel some primary tension marked by the expected uncertainty of meeting for the first time. This often happens on the first night when many tour directors gather their flock for a welcoming dinner or reception. Tour members tend to be polite and formal with one another and do their best to avoid controversy. They engage in surface-level chit-chat during this period of "social reconnaissance" while they get a sense of each other's interests and personalities.
Group dynamics form: The second or conflict phase is often marked by some secondary tension when members become aware of individual differences within the group. This may take place during the next few days as members ease into the routine of traveling together. Tension during this period can come from a number of situations, some identified by people's behavior and key personality traits. For instance, tour members might encounter
- the recognition seeker, who spends time boasting about accomplishments thereby distracting others from the travel experience;
- a self-confessor might distract the group by disclosing personal problems and by using the group for personal therapy;
- the special-interest traveler has an individual agenda and might try to steer the tour in that direction (wants everyone to go fly fishing as opposed to touring the local castle); and
- the dominator refuses to allow others to express their opinions and dominates discussion.
Showing patience with this initial posturing and knowing it will diminish as the tour progresses, is usually a winning strategy.
Personal space: Tension during the second stage of group integration can also arise from perceived violations of personal space. Territoriality is a basic human need and excessive invasions of our space can create heightened arousal and anxiety that may lead to verbal and physical aggression. A tour guide told me on a recent excursion that she had witnessed pushing and shoving over seat and room assignments, and instances of some members leaving a tour because of space issues. While rare, these situations are often the result of insensitivity to another's need for personal space and the inability of the offenders to make a commitment to the group experience. Expecting and accepting that you may need to share space on the bus or at your table, is a soothing strategy here.
Harmony and group unity: With a helpful tour director, secondary tension can be alleviated and even prevented through effective leadership and establishing a protocol for touring. In most cases, this happens right away, allowing the group to pass into stage three, the emergence phase of the trip where members begin to feel harmony. Potential problematic members have backed down, sensing the disapproval and counter productiveness of their behaviors or attitudes, leading the group into the final or reinforcement stage. At this point, members bolster the group experience through favorable comments and positive reinforcement. The spirit of unity pervades and group members are jovial and focused on the purpose of the trip and the travel experience.
Lasting friendships through traveling together: Although many escorted tours experience some tension, the best way to handle it is to keep a positive attitude and allow each member some room for personal adjustment. Anticipating periods of conflict and knowing that in most instances, these situations will resolve themselves quickly, is probably a healthy strategy. Most tour directors and tour members will recognize the value of a positive climate and set this as the primary goal. In most cases, travel excursions result in very special bonds and lasting friendships among members for having worked through minor periods of tension, and from sharing the fun of traveling together.
Hazel Warlaumont is a professor of communication at Cal State Fullerton and the University of Washington, and draws from her teaching and travel experience to share some observations about escorted group tours.
May 11, 2006
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What was your first vacation memory? Visiting grandparents in a distant city? Building sand castles on the beach with siblings and parents? How did the family vacation memories change as you aged and now as you're an adult - perhaps with kids and/or nieces and nephews of your own?
Infants, toddlers, teens all have different needs and interests. Below are some quick tips for making family getaways less stressful.
In general, less is more. Jam-packing too much into a travel schedule can ruin an otherwise lovely trip. Build in plenty of free time between activities, meals, and group gatherings to walk around, soak in the scenery, relax, nap, read, and so forth.
Traveling with kids up to 5 years old
- Pack baby-proofing supplies: Think about socket plugs, padded corner tabs, plastic glasses, nightlights and other typical portable protection devices.
- Rent baby equipment: A handful of companies make it easy to rent baby supplies like cribs, high chairs and strollers at your destination. This is a practical and stress-reducing way for parents to travel with young children.
- Keep familiar scents: Resist the temptation to wash everything just before leaving home. Babies and toddlers are particularly comfortable with the smell of their things. They can be sensitive, even cranky, when their things, complete with odors, seem to be missing.
Traveling with kids ages 6 to 12
- Pack a surprise: In case the plane is delayed or a child becomes ill along the way, pack a couple of vacation surprises well suited to alleviating boredom. Audiobooks is great option to meet the boredom challenge for this age group.
- Plan fun activities: Nothing fancy or expensive, just good old-fashioned games and activities.
- Do less: One of the biggest challenges for vacationing families is learning to do less and enjoy it more. Often parents return to work feeling like they need a vacation. They intended to relax and catch up on sleep. They intended to enjoy free time with the kids. Instead they found themselves over scheduled and in a self-created time crunch. Anyone in charge?
Traveling with teens
- Pack less: This is a reality check. Teens want to be seen as cool by their peer group, yet not look obvious as they do so. The result is over packing. Why take one pair when six will do? Over packing comes from a lack of information about what is needed. Every family with teens should invoke the rule of all seasoned globetrotters: “Ye shall carry what you pack…all of what you pack.”
- Pick your restaurants wisely: Choosing restaurants with menus that make everyone happy will go a long way to a fun and relaxing dining experience.
- Determine who is in charge: Power struggles result when guidelines are not clear. Communicate expectations before buying tickets or making deposits. If sleeping until noon is not option say so early. If every one gets to choose a favorite activity say so early. If in reality grandpa is in charge then do not keep it a secret.
What do you think? Is there an ideal age to travel with kids? Was there an ideal age of travel for you? My favorite childhood vacations were spent at a lake with white sandy shores and tons of relatives for our family reunions. Lots of cousins to play with and plenty of munchies and scrumptious food to boot.
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A college pal of mine is off on a 3-month African safari and emails a group of us every couple of weeks with stories from the field. While I'm living vicariously through his travels, he's out in the wild with his girlfriend on group tours, then traveling independently as a couple, then meeting up with friends. Basically, he rocks.
Here's what my friend recently did in Namibia, Africa while I scrolled on my phone:
- "Fish River Canyon - the oldest, and second largest, canyon in the world"
- "...hiking up a huge red dune at sunrise surrounded by miles of the same as far as the eye could see..."
- "...visiting a cheetah farm and petting tame cheetahs..."
- "...visiting a village of the Himba tribe - one of the few tribes left in Africa living completely in their traditional ways..."
- "...visiting Etosha National Park (some animals seen: 2 elephants; 6 lions; 4 or 5 warthogs; tons of giraffes; tons of zebra; tons of wildebeest; tons of antelope; all kinds of birds including a bunch of ostrich, vultures, a stork, a goshawk, some kory bustards - the largest flying bird in Africa, and lots more)."
He surfs, too. But I admire his ability to plan, save money, and pick up and travel adventurously. Don't we all have at least one friend we live vicariously through? The guy or gal who one-ups us on adventure. We plan a multi-day hike while they zip through tree canopies and scuba dive with sharks. The travel bug is everywhere.
If you don't have a friend like this, here are a few websites that may speak to your adventurous spirit:
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The Planet D: Run by Canadian couple Dave and Deb, this blog who live by the motto “Adventure is for Everyone” because, as they say, "we believe that you don’t have to be an uber-athlete, adrenaline junkie, or a part of the ultra-rich to be an adventurer." They have traveled to over 115 countries and provide detailed city guides, personal travel tips, and inspiring stories. Their adventures began with a cycling race across Africa and have since evolved into a full-time travel lifestyle​​​​.
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The Adventure Junkies: This website is a great resource for outdoor adventure info that aims to make the outdoors accessible to all and inspire people to value, understand, and protect the planet's ecosystems. Articles are well-organized into sections like "Climbing," "Kayaking," and "Skiing."
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Expert Vagabond: Managed by a professional adventure travel photographer and digital nomad, this blog shares travel tips and experiences from around the world. It's a great resource for anyone interested in combining adventure travel with photography​​.
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Alastair Humphreys: Known for coining the term 'micro adventure,' Alastair's blog encourages finding adventure close to home. He has an impressive record of global explorations, including crossing Iceland, rowing across the Atlantic Ocean, and cycling around the world​​.
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Wild Junket: Nellie Huang, a professional adventure traveler, has been exploring the world since 2003. Her blog covers a wide range of adventures, from climbing active volcanoes in Guatemala to scuba diving in Borneo and exploring the Silk Road​​.
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Will wonders ever cease? I discovered a caretakers organization that prides itself on being the leading property caretaking source. Caretaking in this context doesn't mean changing baby's diapers or live-in help for aging seniors; that's caregiving. Think travel, think vacation, think free. Can this be an actual industry?
If you've ever dreamed of playing host(ess) at a quaint inn, housesitting at a beachfront home, watching the condo and cat for someone who lives in a swanky loft with a cityscape vista, or being innkeeper for a small retreat center, take note.
The Caretaker Gazette has been operating since 1983. It is a unique newsletter that provides information and opportunities for property caretaking and house sitting jobs. The service caters to those interested in caretaking positions as well as property owners looking for caretakers or house sitters. According to their website, The Gazette provides subscribers with thousands of house sitting and property caretaking jobs each year.
Families, couples, and individuals are all caretakers who travel for various lengths of time to plant themselves in a new locale and temporarily try on a new lifestyle. Free accommodations to boot. But if you apply for one of the caretaking "jobs" and time it with a family reunion in the same destination, or in an area where friends can easily visit for a weekend getaway, you just might have found nomadic nirvana.
If I find a European castle in need an innkeeper for a month, I might reconsider my current situation and start packing. Alternative travel. Gotta love it.
Or does this sound like pure hell? Anyone ever done a trip like this? Would you recommend it to others? Are there other sites or resources to find this type of opportunity?
D. Rose sent us a note to share, "I've used the Caretaker Gazette to find housesitting and caretaking positions in places I wanted to visit... I don't like big hotels or resorts so I prefer to live where I can get to know the local people. The people that run the Gazette are very helpful and friendly so I am sure they would be happy to answer any questions you might have. Good luck!"
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Nothing is worse than going on a group trip and discovering an incompatibility with your roomie. Traveling can become a bit of a petrie dish for issues, psychology, life... You never really know someone until you've traveled with them (or shared a room on a trip).
How do you survive an escorted group tour or trip with close traveling companions without throttling each other? For starters, it goes both ways. You may be a perfect travel companion in your own mind, but not in someone else's. Your passion for shopping might bore or exhaust others. Their passion for fragrant perfume may give your gag reflexes a work-out. What to do?
- Communication is key.
- Honesty imperative.
- Listening skills are a must.
- Compromise when you can.
A quick way to ruin an otherwise fabulous trip is to find resentment building as you throw pillows, socks, apples at a roomie who snores, or roll your eyes each time your travel "buddy" wants to settle in late... showering and/or loudly fumbling through luggage and bags to find some long lost earring at 2 a.m. while you are jet-lagged as hell trying to nap.
Here are some helpful hints for common problems faced when sharing rooms and space:
Snoring -- Solution: Ask if this is an issue. Caveat: if your friend lives alone he/she might not know or agree on what to do if either of you snores. Consider ear plugs, white noise, or seeing if you can take a new room. Proper etiquette is for the person who wants to change to pay for their new room.
Scents -- Solution: Strong cologne or perfumes can be intrusive to others; best left at home. Go through routine personal products to make sure you are both happy with the steam wafting from the shower or the acetone from the nails.
Smoking -- Sharing with a smoker means a smoking room, a smoking floor and smoking tables at meals. Smokers will also be handicapped even isolated on tours as buses do not allow smoking. Solution: Take separate rooms and talk about the consequences; there is no other way out.
Stamina -- Solution: Compare walking, step climbing, ability to carry luggage, deal with lack of sleep or dietary changes. Compare how long you like to linger over meals, need to get organized each day etc. Toleration works to a point, but if you are a marathon walker and she is taxi-er, this trip will not end in friendship. Spend a long day together to see where you differ and work out compromises. Example: if only one of you is taxi dependent, she should pay that expense. Same with porterage, excess baggage on tour, etc.
Spending -- Solution: Be honest about the budget. Do you use porters? Always tip? Expect to take taxis instead of public transportation? Order expensive drinks? Each choose 2 splurges that add up to the same money and time. And compromise on those. Put all your joint expense money in a zip lock bag and pay from the bag. When the bag is empty, refill it together. Do not keep a ledger and settle up later on complicated overseas trips, either both use frequent flyer tickets or neither use them; if a flight is changed, you will at least be in the same situation.
Seeing vs. shopping -- Solution: Every one hopes for different things from a trip. What you expect should be agreed on before you book. "Walk" through the trip, decide how you will use the free time. You each get to choose two options. If shopping annoys either of you, make a specific time to reconnect and part ways for a bit. Do not ask your room share to help you with your additional cumbersome packages. You bought it, you carry it.
Scared or feared -- Solution: Make a list of your fears and absolutely 'will not do's'. You really don't want to find out your friend will not use elevators when you arrive at a high rise hotel!
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